Hurt; How to forgive

"There he hung, his body broken and bleeding, still taunted by his enemies; and it was in the midst of all this that Jesus [pled] perhaps quietly, with deep reverence, ‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34.)” I don't understand how he did it. I marvel at the love and forgiveness that Jesus has for each and everyone of us. But still I wonder how could He forgive His tormenters at that moment? With all that pain, with blood having fallen from every pore, he did it. He forgave them.

Recently and a few other times throughout my life I have been hurt by the action of another. Usually, I am quick to forgive becuase I to fall short of being or doing good all the time. But for some people who intentionally hurt us...who's actions are not pure...who's actions are completely unholy....how do we find it in our heart to forgive them?

All I feel lately is pain, regret, and anger. I hate feeling this way. I know it's not right. I try to smile and push these feelings deep down so I don't feel this way, and they keep surfacing.....and then I find myself crying uncontrollably(usually in the privacy of my car or my room). It's amazing how the choices we make may inadvertnetly hurt someone. Unfortuantely this time it was someone elses choice who hurt me. Everyday I pray that I might forgive this person, that my burden might be lifted...taht I might find it it my heart to forgive, but for some reason I cannot forgive. BELIEVE ME I really want to. It just hurts. I'm so grateful for a loving family and wonderful friends who have supported me through this difficult time.

I am so grateful for the love that I have felt from my heavenly father and a loving savior. I just want this pain to end. I want to feel free from this burden that was created from no fault of my own. I know the pain will eventually fade away but I feel a scar will always be here. I also know that I will grow stronger from this experience. For now I am open to forgiveness, but I have not completely forgiven this person. I hope one day that this person can stand before me and explain to me why they did what they did. When this happens I hope that they feel enough remorse for their actions, and that I will be able to say "I forgive you" and mean it. For now I guess it's normal feel hurt, pain, and anger. But know ABOVE ALL I feel the enduring love and peace from all of those who have been placed in my life to help me during this difficult trial.

Letter 12: Person I don’t talk to as much

My dearest friend from high school Angela,

I miss you so much. It’s amazing to me how time just flies by. It was just yesterday we spent every day with each other. Some of my best memories are with you. I won’t share all of our secrets but I will share my favorite memory with you. It was the time we decided to go toilet paper Chris’s house at 3:30 in the morning. We didn’t have transportation by car so we packed up your backpack with Toilet paper jumped on our bikes and rode to sugar. We got there about 4:30 in the morning and started to do our business only to get busted by Chris’s dad. We ran away and you twisted your ankle. We didn’t feel like biking back to your house, and we knew Greg and his parents were gone so we spent the night in his garage in the back of his truck. We had many great adventures didn’t we? Your friendship has meant the world to me, and has been a guiding light in my life. I have laughed with you, cried with you, argued with you, but above all I grew with you. You are now grown women, and we have gone our separate ways, but I have never and will never forget your love and friendship. It’s been such a pleasure to watch your family grow, and to see the amazing Mother and woman that you have become. I just want you to know that I love you and miss our talks.

Your long time and forever friend,

Crystal

Letter 11: DREAMS

I have always been one to dream. Ever since I was little I have always had dreams. I remember when I was five I wanted to be the president. Then when I was seven after seeing the Olympics for the first time I wanted to be a professional gymnast. When I hit age 13 we had a class in Junior high where we had to pick a profession we wanted to do when we “GREW up”, research it, and write a report about the one we choose. I wanted to be a pediatric nurse, and when I hit college I thought that I wanted to impact people’s lives by being a teacher. My professional dream changed when I took my first social work class and I knew that this was the profession for me. At that moment I realized that my dreams no matter how big or insignificant could change…And no matter what I decided to do my dreams were possible to achieve. The other amazing thing about my dreams is I knew that whatever I decided to do I would have support through my family and friends. I still have dreams today one of my biggest dreams is to be a wife and a mother. I also dream that I might be able to be an influence for good in people’s lives. I once heard this quote that said “when you were born you were crying and everyone around you was smiling live your life so that when you die everyone you know is crying and you’re the one that’s smiling.” No matter what age we are…no matter what our circumstances…my advice is to keep dreaming. This is what keeps us motivated and this is what helps us leave footprints in each other’s lives. Thank you all for sharing your dreams with me, and for allowing me to see when your dreams come true. This has been the greatest reward in my life.

Crystal

Letter 10: To my best Friend

I’ve had a lot of good friends in the past. At this time in my life I would like to write to my friend Miranda.


MANDY,

My dearest friend I just want you to know how thankful I am that I have you in my life. Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful that Heavenly father let us meet and become friends. I remember the first day that we met, and the conversation that we had. TABLE ROCK will always be one of my favorite places now because of you. It’s like we were meant to be in each other’s lives. It’s like GOD knew that we needed each other, and he was right. There have only been a few people that I have been able to click with the way that we click with each other. The best thing about our friendship for me is sometimes I just have to look at you and say nothing and you know what I’m thinking. I once heard this quote that said “A best friend is someone you can sit on a porch swing with, say nothing, and walk away feeling like that has been the best conversation you’ve ever had.” I feel that way with you. I’ve had many friends that I have met along the way, but of all the friends I have had I would have to say that your one of the best.
We all need someone who will take our side no matter what, and you have always done that. You have never judged me, and have ALWAYS been a guiding light leading me off the bumpy roads that I have gotten myself on. You have wiped away tears, laughed with me (LAUGHED A LOT WITH ME), been angry with me, and LOVED me unconditionally. I’ve never been able to share so much with someone the way that I share with you. YOU’RE a trusting person, and I am so grateful that you are able to keep my secrets. You’ve allowed me to make mistakes, and hugged me when things have gone wrong. You have never condemned me for doing wrong…you’ve never said “I told you so.” Yet, you did not hesitate to stand by me and helped me through the most difficult times in my life. Not everyone will do that, but you always have. You’re such a loyal FRIEND!!!
I know that your friendship is a blessing to me…a miracle to me….and has been a strength to me. I know because you are in my life I will be just fine. I know that I am a better person just for knowing you. I know that I have a person who will accept me for who I am and who cares and loves me no matter what. Thank you for helping me to recognize my faults, and for teaching me to better myself. Your example of Christ-like love is endearing. I am SO THANKFUL, for your friendship and want you to know how grateful I am for you in my life. If I don’t say it enough I LOVE YOU!!! I’m excited to continue down the journey of friendship with you!!
Your sister from another mother,
Crystal

Letter 9: A letter to someone who is deceased

Dear Grandma,
I remember sitting by you the first time we had to put you into the hospital. You looked at me with your big blue eyes and said “Crystal, I don’t understand why all these people are here. No one is going to care when I die. Is that what they are waiting for me to do is die.” Your eyes filled with tears and you turned away from me and wept. I remember placing your head in my hands and I told you “I care grandma…..I don’t want you to die…………..I can’t IMAGINE my life without you.” At that point you stopped crying looked in my eyes and said “I’m afraid everyone will forget me.” It has been 4 years since you past away, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t reach for my phone to call you only to realize that you can’t be reached. I still don’t have the heart to delete your number from my phone. There is not a birthday that goes by that I don’t wait for your birthday card for me to arrive in the mail. As the days and years have passed away my life without you has not been the same. There is a framed picture that resides by my bed stand of just us two. It’s a picture that someone took of us and we didn’t realize it. You are whispering something in my ear….just like you always did when there was a crowd around. What’s funny is I remember what you whispered to me that day. I giggle every time I see that picture. What’s weird though is that picture gives me the strength to go on without you. It’s as though you’re whispering to me NOW…saying “Crystal, I’m proud of you….or Crystal I know you can do it.” You were the best grandma in the world, and I was so lucky that I had you in my life. I know that you would kill me if you knew this, but I talk about you to everyone. I am just so grateful to have known such a wonderful person. I don’t ever want to forget you, and I want other people to know of your goodness, love, and compassion. You have always been a hero in my eyes. Your strength and wisdom have touched so many people. The best thing of all though is that your legacy lives on. I see so much of you in your children, in your children’s children, and in me. I know that you are with Grandpa Andy now, and I look forward to the day when I am reunited with you. I know that you are with me now, because I feel your presence with me on a daily basis. Your life lives on through the countless memories I have of you. I miss and Love you so much!!! Just so you know …..I still care…. I still miss you….. And I will never forget you.
With all my heart,
Crystal

Letter 8: Someone that I have hurt

To whoever I have hurt,

I’ve probably hurt many people in my life. I can’t think of one particular instance, but I know that I have done it because I’m not perfect. I hope that whoever you are that you forgive me. At times my words can be harsh, and I have tried to monitor what I say, but as those close to me have learned sometimes words just slip out of my mouth. I know that words are very powerful …..more so than anything else. So if there is something I have said or done to hurt you I’m sorry. I’m not a vindictive or hateful person, and I really try not to hurt people. It makes me so sick when I know that I have hurt someone. I’m so grateful for forgiveness, and for the people who have forgiven me in my life. I know what it is like to be hurt by someone, and I hate causing pain to other people. So with all my heart I am so sorry, and I really do love you. I hope that you can forgive me if I have ever doen anything to hurt you.

Crystal

Letter 7: A letter to my Siblings

Dear Becky,
We fought when we were younger yet we patched things up. We laughed at each others jokes that no one else understood. We said some of the meanest things to each other… yet no one else could and I know we would have defended each other till the death. We did some of the silliest things together, and shared secrets that no one else will ever know. You’ve always been here for me and for that I’m grateful for. No matter how big or small my problem is I know that I can come to you and you will listen. I remember when I was little having night terrors, and waking up in the middle of the night. We shared a room and when I would get scared I would jump into your bed. I know that I woke you up, and instead of yelling at me you put your arm around me and kept me safe. For as long as I can remember you’ve protected me. I’ve been so blessed to see you grow into a wonderful talented woman. It saddens me when you don’t see what I see in you. You can do no wrong in my eyes. Thank you so much for laughing, for teaching me things, and for crying with me. I know that no matter what happens in my life that I can always depend on you. In life people will come and go; children will come and eventually they go. Friends grow up and move away, but the one thing that will never be lost is your sister. Thank you so much for all you do I love you.
Crystal

Dear James,
I’m grateful to have a brother like you. I remember in high school people being scared of you. When people told me that they were scared of you I would laugh. I think that your bark was bigger than your bite if you know what I mean. You are such a soft person with a big heart, and I admire that about you. You are the peacekeeper, and a defender of people. I loved when I was little and didn’t want to hang out with the girls in the neighborhood you would allow me to hang out with you and your friends. I loved catching frogs with you, playing ball, and climbing trees. I still think that I made the best tom boy…not every girl can say that they can pee standing up without peeing all over themselves…but I can gladly say that I have mastered that skill. I did it because I wanted to be like you. I see you in your life, and am amazed at how positive you remain despite all the bad things that have happened to you. You’re the looking at the glass half full kind of person, and I truly need that in my life. I love your laid back attitude and determination. I know that you will go far in your life. You’re a wonderful dad and husband. I’m excited for the changes that you have made in your life, and KNOW that you will do great things. I’m excited to see what you will become. I hope that you realize what an amazing individual that you are. I’m so PROUD to have a brother like you. Thanks for always being here for me, and for the wonderful support that you have given to me. I love you so much.
Crystal

Dear Tiffany,
I know that your not my biological sibiling but I consider you my sibling none the less. Yoru a wonderful sister-in-law. I’m so proud of the strength that you have. Believe me I know how hard it is to LOVE James (Just Kidding), but I want you to know that he is a great guy. I’m so glad that your in his life, because I know that you have been a support to him. The great thing about James is once he sets his mind to something he will succeed. That is why I know that he will always treat you well. I know that he jokes around a lot, but we get that from our mom…so blame her. Thank you so much for being a great mom to my nieces and nephews. I am learning from your example. I have loved getting to know you and the wonderful person that you are becoming. I’m excited to see your family grow, and to see the influence that you have been to them. Thanks so much for talking to me when I need it. I want you to know that I love you so much.

Love,

Crystal

Dear Tracey,
With you I know that I can say only a few words, and it will be okay. You’re a great brother-in-law. I know that we are different, but I have loved the talks that we have had. You have such a laid back personality, yet your very bright, and hard worker. You have some beautiful children, and a wonderful wife. It’s exciting to see them grow and become these amazing people. I love Gavin’s stories about his dad, and I can tell how much he loves you. I know that you have had a lot of stress on you lately, but I want you to know that I see how hard that you work. Thanks for putting up with me, and allowing me to stay with you for that brief period. It has truly been a joy getting to know you. I want you to know that I love you and I’m grateful for all you have done to me. Thanks for listening to me complain…and for stealing your children every now and again.

Love
Crystal.

Letter 6: Someone in my life who has caused me a lot of pain

I know that I am suppose to write to someone who has caused me a lot of pain in my childhood, but I couldn’t think of anyone from my childhood who has caused me a lot of pain. So, I’m going to write to someone who has caused me a lot of pain.

Dear_______,
Here is the letter you never received. I wrote this at one point, but forgave you instead. I still forgive you, but I think I just need to tell you how I feel……. I regret not telling how you hurt me. So, here’s my opportunity. I’m hurt and seriously regret the years of wasted time I spent with you. I’m angry that you used me, and thought so less of me you couldn’t just let me go. Sometimes I blame myself, but realize that it was you. Believe me I have analyzed this over and over in my head. You took all my goodness every part of it, and left me with nothing. You had a million of excuses of why you couldn’t be here for me. I gave so much to you and expected nothing in return but was hopeful that our relationship could be equal and in return you never gave back. You were never there for me the way I was there for you. You’ve told me that before so I know that I’m not just making this up in my head. I don’t understand and still don’t understand why I allowed you to use me in such the way that you did. I guess I trusted you…..out of everyone to trust I still can’t believe I trusted you. I gave my trust to someone who didn’t respect me….who didn’t love me……..and for that I’m angry. You ruined that trust, and everyday I pray that I can get it back. It’s like you decided everything and I had no control. I still can’t believe that you gave no explanation for your behavior is that all I get. Seriously!!! I SEE how much I meant to you. It’s been difficult for me to forgive you completely which makes me feel like a horrible person. Everyone has told me that I have a reason to hate you, but it’s not in me to hate you. At some points I wish I could…it would make things a lot easier. I have a lot of regret when I think of you. I don’t have many regrets in my life, but your one of them. I think that people whether they impact your life for the better or worse help you to learn something. So I guess you taught me something. Everyday I am moving away from the bitterness and hole that you caused me, and I know one day through no help of you I will move past the pain. I want you to know that I forgive you, because despite the pain that you caused me I loved you. It makes me happy to know that I can say that I forgive you and really mean it. I hope that you learn from this experience and realize you cannot treat people the way that you have treated me.

Crystal

Letter 5: To my parents

Dear Mom,
You’ve always kept it simple in my life which is wonderful because as you well know I tend to make things complicated. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. You have taught me so much about the little and big things in life. You have made things so fun when I want to make things methodical. You always have known what to say to make me smile, but you also know when to keep things serious. You balance things out. I’m proud to say that I get my sense of humor from you, and I love how we can go for hours with our witty comebacks to each other. It makes me laugh that I’m an adult and you still call me your baby. I love how stubborn you are, and the knowledge that you have given to me in my life. I don’t think that there is a mom out there who loves her kids as much as you love us. You have taught me about unconditional love through your example. You have taught me to be a strong independent woman. My fondest memories of you is watching Saturday morning cartoons, our movie nights, shopping dates, cleaning and cooking with you, and taking cat naps with you. Most of all I love the relationship that we have and the time that we spend together. You’re the best mom in the world, and I love you with all my heart. Not every mom in the world allows their stubborn daughter to eat cookies and milk for breakfast because there was no way you were going to make me eat oatmeal. Thanks for all you do. If I don’t say it enough know that I love you.
With love your little angel.

Dear Dad,
Any girl can say that their dad is their hero and your no different to me. You’ve always been there. I remember the daddy daughter dates that we went to when I was a teenager. I cherish the memory of us line dancing together the thought of that still makes me laugh. I love how I would fake sick from the first day that you came home from your logging jobs, and you would come to the school pick me up and take care of me at home. Don't be mad I just wanted to be with you. I think you knew that I was faking and would come pick me up any way. The best memory I have of you though is the date you took me on when I was 16. It was then you taught me how I should be treated by any guy who took me out. You have been a great example of how guys should treat women, and I have treasured that. I love how you treat mom like a queen and how you take care of her. You’ve always treated us right, and I love the Valentine I get every year. I am grateful that you have taught me about cars, and the importance of finishing what I start. I love our little fights on who is "RIGHT" because we are very similar in personalities. If i have you thinking now.... I'm ALWAYS RIGHT!!! Thank you so much for always being here for me. I’m so grateful for the love and support you have given me throughout my life. I will always and forever love you. Thanks again, and I truly hope one day I will be able to find a guy who will show me the love that you show mom. I love and adore you.

With all my love,
Crystal

Letter 4: My first Love or Crush

Dear First love,
I remember the first day that we met. I felt tingles in my body, and I knew that you were someone special. I remember always wanting to be with you. I remember how excited I got when I got to see you or when you called me on the phone. Our first date was perfection, and every day after was amazing while I was with you. You opened my heart up to possibilities and dreams. Although, we were only together for a short time it was the first time I felt feelings of love in a relationship outside my family and friends. It was something new and exciting, but I was scared. I never knew I could feel such feelings that is why I pushed you away. I know that you felt it me pushing, because I did to. I didn’t mean to break your heart, but it happened because I wasn’t ready for the love you had to offer to me at that point in my life. The day you left I didn’t cry in front of you, but I did cry. I was heartbroken and didn’t know why. It was only later in life that I realized that I hurt because I loved you. I still think about you, and I am so glad you found someone to be with who makes you happy. I’m glad we are still friends today, and that I can be part of your life. You taught me things about myself that I never knew, and I will be forever grateful for your example and your love. I have been able to share the love you taught me with other’s that I have dated and I hope one day I will be able to share my love eternally with someone as you do with your wife. Thank you for teaching me so much about love.

Sincerely,

Crystal

Letter 3: My future Children

See Previous Posts

To my future children
All of my life I have looked up to the mom’s in my life. My mom came from a family with 9 sisters’ all who have touched my life in one way or another. They have taught me things about being a mother, about being patient, and loving with all of their hearts. From the first time that I picked up a doll to give it a bottle I knew I wanted to be a mother. It’s an instinctual part of me as and for all women whether they know it or not. I have always cherished the opportunity to be a mom, and have looked forward to the day that I will become a mom. I cannot wait for the day that the responsibility of motherhood will come to be. I have dreamed of my children, and look forward to the days that a precious spirit of god is place in my arms. I’m not afraid because I have had good teachers in my life. My mom has taught me how to be a mom. She has always been there for me, and I pray that one day I will have the opportunity to show my mom what she has taught me by being a mom of my own. My grandmother was also an amazing example of what a mother is. With as great as teachers as them I know that I will succeed. I hope that you are patient with me…..I will need it. I know that I will make mistakes….I know at times I will seem overbearing or protective. But one thing I want you to know is that I will love you for always and forever. I pray that I will teach you the things that you need to know.


With all my heart,

Crystal Angel

Letter #1: A stranger

(If Your confused about this letter, Read my previous post)

I’m an observant person. I’m probably the one looking at you and your wondering why is she looking at me. The reason: I’m a curious person that’s why. I’m wondering where you have come from, what you do for a living, what your family is like, or what exciting things are you going to do today. I’m just that type of person. I’m the type of person who will probably smile and wave, and try to start small talk with you in the grocery line.
I truly believe that there is something to learn from each person I meet. Who knows you may have already changed my life, and I never had the opportunity to thank you. So, I would like to do that now, THANK YOU. When I was a little girl my parent’s car broke down in the middle of nowhere. There was this family who stopped drove 30 miles out of their way to the nearest gas station and brought us back food and pop while we waited two hours for the tow truck to come and haul us to the nearest town. You as a stranger didn’t have to do that for us, but you did. There are so many things that I can learn from you.
It’s not always easy to love someone you just met, but I’ve had the opportunity in my life to meet a stranger like yourself and love them. Loving and serving others has made all the difference in my life. So, if you see me staring at you or smiling at you come on over and say hi. I’ll be waiting and excited to see how my life changes because you left your footprint on my heart.

Letters

My friend Sharlee gave me this Idea that she got from a blog. I thought what the heck this may be fun. The challenge is to write a letter to someone per day. Like Sharlee I will probably do this once a week or less. Here are the different people or “Things” I will be writing to:
1. A stranger
2. Your spouse, or your future spouse - even if you've never met them
3. Your child(ren) or future child
4. Your first love or crush
5. One to each of your parents
6. Someone in your life who has caused a lot of pain during your childhood
7. Your sibling(s)
8. Someone you've hurt
9. Someone you don't understand
10. Someone deceased
11. The person you'd want to take care of your children if you & your spouse are no longer alive
12. Your best girlfriend
13. Your dreams
14. Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like
15. Your 13-year-old self
16. The person you miss the most
17. Someone you know who's going through the worst of times
18. Someone that caused someone you love (not you) a lot of pain when they were a child
19. Someone that changed your life
20. Your reflection in the mirror

A few Thoughts

You know I've been thinking a lot about life lately. Maybe it's cause I'm getting older, and looking back I thought that I would be in such a different place than I am right now. I've notice though that people often attempt to live their lives waiting for better things to arrive or waiting for what they expect their lives to be like. Many people become so consumed in accomplishing what they feel that need that they fail to notice the TRUE beauties in life. I feel myself doing that at times. Going through the motions of life without feeling or noticing the beauty around me. I say notice it...before it passes you by. Notice the blueness of the clear skies, the laughter of a child, the smell of the rain, or the feel of the wind. We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting things we don't have, but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have. I came upon this list in my Journal the other day that I want to share. It's titled the 11 Hints for Life.

1) It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2) A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3) The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4) It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5) It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6) Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7) Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8) Find a person who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on them. Who will lay under the stars and listen to your heart beat, or will stay away just to watch you sleep. Wait for the person who will kiss your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends, and who thinks your just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her."

9) A careless word may kindle strife. A Cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10) The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11) Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.


I want you to know that every day of our lives is a blessing. The good days as well as the bad. Don't wish off your bad days for better ones. Enjoy every day and the blessings that come your way. It is then each of us will find true happiness in our lives.

Change

It's interesting to me that no matter how much I say that I hate change it seems to happen all the time. If it isn't life that is changing...then it's me making changes to my situation. I guess I can say that change happens whether we like it or not. As for me what has changed in my life? I started a new job. I'm working at Boise Behavioral Hospital as the social service director. I promised myself after leaving my last supervisory position that I didn't want to take another one...and you guessed it I did. I think that this one will be better. I only supervise one person, and she is an amazing worker. I have a great team where I work now. I'm so excited for the experience. I work in a geratric unit with indiviudals who have mental health issues. I feel that this will be a great experience for me. I love the job, the enviornment, and what doors it will open in the future. It will take some time getting use to, but it's a fast paced enviornment and I always have things today. It makes work go fast. As for family life things are going good. We just had a family reunion and its good to see everyone. My necies and nephews are growing too fast....but they are so amazing. Life is really good right now...and I'm excited for the future. Peace out for now :D

Summer fun!!!!!!

This weekend we got family pictures. It was so fun. It's so amazing to see our family grow and for the personalities that come with our growing family. This year we had our annual "Aunt Crystal" party. Instead of doing popcorn and movies we had a camp out. I arrived on Friday and took the kids swimming all seven of them...obviously Kendrick is too small to come...but I'm sure he will join the fun someday. We went to the water park... Let's just say that having 3 three year olds, a five year old, a 8, 9, and 10 year old is a chore. It went pretty smoothly though. After the water park I took all of them to the store. Another challenge...but so fun. We built a camp fire in grandma's and grandpa's back yard, and then slept out under the stars. I love my nieces and nephews...they make me laugh. It's fun to spend time with them and watch them grow. I think that their parents have done an exceptional job of raising their beautiful children...I'm so glad to be a part of their lives....I truly am blessed.

Back To Normal

So, I graduated for the third time in my life time, and I can't tell you how wonderful it finally feels to be done. This journey has tested my limits, and has been amazingly tough. Through it all I have learned so much, and amazed at the potiental that god has blessed me with. I'm so excited to see where my future will lead. As for work I will begin therapy work at the agency that I am currently working. That should start shortly. I took my licensure test and passed!! Yea!!! I just have to wait for grades to post and submit my offical transcript to the social work board...and then I will be an offical LMSW. Then....I will be counselign people. Oh! Goodness. It shoudl defintely be a challenge. I'm kinda scared... not sure if I will be good at it or not. I guess only time will tell. I go on my first vacation in over a year, and will be leaving to Vegas on Thursday. I will post pictures when I get back. I guess that's it for now. Hope all is going well for everyone. Love ya

Joy

My life has been so crazy lately I thought that I would focus on the things that have brought me joy in my life. I want to start with my wonderful parents who have taught me so much about life and the importance of family. They are wonderful parents who's love has taught me so much. I have never met two people more in love then my parents. I know that they came from goodly parents who's importance of family love has rubbed off on them. I'm so grateful for my grandparents who have also brought me such joy. I love that I have a tight knit family, and that I know my aunts, uncles, and cousins who's words and example have taught me so much about enjoying the small joys in life. I'm find so much joy in having a brother and sister who I am close to. Although we have our differences and disagrements I love them. My sister is so beautiful and is a wonderful mother, and I hope to be half the woman that she is growing to be. My brother is also a good example, and has grown so much. He is so smart and has so much determination, and I know that he will go far in life. Then there are my in-laws Tiffany and Tracy. Tiffany is a great person with the biggest heart that I know. SHe is a great mother and someone I admire. I'm so excited for my new nephew who I know will be brought into a wonderful home. Tracy is a hard worker, and a good father. I'm also so grateful for my wonderful friends. My friends keep me sane....make me laugh....and are so amazing. I want to appoligize to everyone for beening so onery and irritable lately. I have a lot on my plate right now. I know things will slow down, but no matter how busy I get I will never forget the things in my life that bring me true joy. I've posted some pictures of my beautiful neices and nephews.... hope you enjoy. Love you all

I'm so sad that I don't get to see these two beautiful children very often. This means that I don't get very many pictures either. I rememer when we first watched Mathew he was a beautiful little boy. I remember his fat rolls and chubby cheeks....I can't believe how much he has grown. Mathew has brought so much joy in our lives, and I'm so grateful that he is part of our family in an unconvetional sort of way. Then came Kristin. I remember the first time she was put in my arms. I have never felt such a connection to someone. I knew that she was special. I knew that she would bless our lives, and she has. I'm so grateful for her wonderful personality and for the time I get to spend with her. She is so beautiful inside and out, and brings so much joy in my life.

Caroline is so fun to be around, and makes me laugh so much. She just has a quite way of reaching out and touching your heart. Although, she tries to get her brother Quienton in trouble alot.....she brings me so much joy in my life.

Quienton is such a smart boy, and has more love then I have ever seen. His hugs make me feel so good, and he has a bright spirit about him. I'm so grateful that he has blessed my life the way that he has. He too brings me joy.

I found these dresses at shopko for 10.00 a peice. I couldn't resist so I bought them for the girls. They put them on and were dancing in the kitchen saying "I'm a pretty princess." I thought aren't we all. When do we forget how beautiful and amazing we are as women. I love how these two beautiful children reminded me how all women are princesses. I love these girls.

This is such a beautiful picuture of the twins. I love how Jonah appears to be admiring his sister, and Isabelle is just chillin. They are such loving children, and I'm so grateful to have them in my life. I love how they love me so much. I love being an auntie it brings me so much happiness.

Isabelle must get her stubbornness and independence from me...just don't tell anyone. We sure had fun sledding. I had so much fun spending time with my family....this too brings me joy.

Gavin is growing up so much. I love him and how smart he is. I can have a conversation with him like an adult. Yet he has such an imagination and brings such joy in my life. He is so amazing and I'm so grateful for him and his personality.

I love this picture of Caroline it brings out her eyes.

What a day

It's been one of those weeks....I don't know if there is something in the air. I'm cranky irritable...pissy....you name it. On these days...or weeks....it's hard not to focus on the negative..... so that's what I'm going to do

1) I lost my purse (luckily after a 1 hour search I found it)
2) I did some paperwork for work, and the one time I don't make a copy they lose it.
3) I haven't got enough sleep (which makes me so very cranky)
4) I have homework up the wazoo
5) feel un appreciated and un loved
6) I'm behind on my work notes
7) I keep saying random things....and have no idea where it comes from.
8) I have so many things happening in my life, and I don't feel that I have anyone to share them with....partly because I'm so busy....tired....and random.........that I can't even get out a half decent sentence.

I could go on....but I'll stop.....on the brightside of things....I know things will get better!!! Thanks for listening. Wishing and hoping for a brighter and better day tomorrow.

2010!!!!!!

It has been a wonderful break from school so far. It was fun to be with my family for the holidays. I love my family so much, and am grateful for the wonderful people that they are. In 2009, I left the small town of Rexburg, left the job I loved, and moved to Boise. In Boise, I started a new job, met new friends, and started grad school. School has been a interesting experience, and I have learned that I have more tolerance and potential then I thought. As for now I have a 4.0, and ma on my last semster. YEA!!!! Graduation in 5 months!!!! I'm looking forward to the many blessings this year will bring. I'm excited for my new nephew who will come in April. I'm also looking forward to learning more, and experiencing 2010 with more changes and opportunites. It's a new year with new beginnings, new joys, and new hardships. I'm so excited to see where life takes me this Year. I will post christmas pictures later. Love ya all.