"There he hung, his body broken and bleeding, still taunted by his enemies; and it was in the midst of all this that Jesus [pled] perhaps quietly, with deep reverence, ‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34.)” I don't understand how he did it. I marvel at the love and forgiveness that Jesus has for each and everyone of us. But still I wonder how could He forgive His tormenters at that moment? With all that pain, with blood having fallen from every pore, he did it. He forgave them.
Recently and a few other times throughout my life I have been hurt by the action of another. Usually, I am quick to forgive becuase I to fall short of being or doing good all the time. But for some people who intentionally hurt us...who's actions are not pure...who's actions are completely unholy....how do we find it in our heart to forgive them?
All I feel lately is pain, regret, and anger. I hate feeling this way. I know it's not right. I try to smile and push these feelings deep down so I don't feel this way, and they keep surfacing.....and then I find myself crying uncontrollably(usually in the privacy of my car or my room). It's amazing how the choices we make may inadvertnetly hurt someone. Unfortuantely this time it was someone elses choice who hurt me. Everyday I pray that I might forgive this person, that my burden might be lifted...taht I might find it it my heart to forgive, but for some reason I cannot forgive. BELIEVE ME I really want to. It just hurts. I'm so grateful for a loving family and wonderful friends who have supported me through this difficult time.
I am so grateful for the love that I have felt from my heavenly father and a loving savior. I just want this pain to end. I want to feel free from this burden that was created from no fault of my own. I know the pain will eventually fade away but I feel a scar will always be here. I also know that I will grow stronger from this experience. For now I am open to forgiveness, but I have not completely forgiven this person. I hope one day that this person can stand before me and explain to me why they did what they did. When this happens I hope that they feel enough remorse for their actions, and that I will be able to say "I forgive you" and mean it. For now I guess it's normal feel hurt, pain, and anger. But know ABOVE ALL I feel the enduring love and peace from all of those who have been placed in my life to help me during this difficult trial.
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