Sunday, March 20, 2011

RANDOMNESS 2

I'm not the most talented person in the world, but I've always pretended to be talented. My family actually has nick-named me ClutZy Crystal!!! In the 8th grade I did cheer leading....hard to believe I know. My freshman year I was pretty motivated to do something so I tried out for everything. The first thing that I decided to tryout for is cheer leading. One of things that we had to do for tryouts is tryout out in front of the whole school. We had two things we had to do for the tryouts: #1 make up our own cheer #2 Make up a dance. The cheer was easy, but dancing is a whole different story. First I don't know how to dance, but I tried. Me trying consisted of me twirling across the gym floor twice and intermingling some of my gymnastics routine into my dance (If anyone has a video recording of this I would really love to see it someday). Let's just say it didn't work out and I didn't make the squad.

After I didn't make the cheer leading squad. I decided to try out for the Drill team (DANCE TEAM). Again, I DON'T know how to dance and I DON'T know why I tried out. To make a long story short in the middle of tryouts I was the one to knock over the can-can line. It's not shocking that I didn't make it, but it still makes me laugh to have witnessed a human domino affect....and I was the human that caused it!!! Later that year I ventured in doing track instead of dancing ........FOR some reason my mom always got nervous watching me run the 100 and 300 hurdles.....I don't know why :D!!!!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

RANDOMNESS: POST 1

I'm one of those people who always has a random story to tell. I usually have the whole room laughing with things that have happened in my life. I don't know if it's because I'm unlucky or what. All I know is It's never a dull day in the life of Crystal. The other day at work I was telling my co-worker's a RANDOM story that had happened to me that day. One of my co-workers suggested to me to write stories of things that happen in my life. Instead of writing a book I decided that for the next 10 weeks I will share with you a Random Story from the past or present that has happened in my life. I hope you enjoy!!! I'll start with the a "CRYSTAL CLASSIC".




COLLEGE DAYS: THE WORST DAY EVER !!!!
In college I was always busy I worked full time, took 18+ credits every semester, and tried to have a social life on top of that. One day I had what some would call the worst day ever. My first class started at 8:00 in the morning. Usually I got up at 6:00 am to work out, but this morning I was sick. I had a test in my 8:00 class and for this teacher if you were late for class you couldn't take the test and got a zero. I woke up at 7:40 that morning because I was so ill. I didn't have time to take a shower. So, I jumped out of bed got dressed, and started running to class.

In the midst of running to class I slipped in dog crap and ended up falling right on top of it. I didn't have time to go back to my house and change so I went to class. Of course I arrived and the only seat that was left was next to the hottest guy in my class (just my luck right?). I took my seat and waited for the teacher to hand out the test. Randomly, the cute guy next to me starts smelling around, and whispers to me, "Man, something SMELLS REALLY bad." At that moment I didn't know if it was because I forgot my deodorant or if it was the dog crap that I had fell in. Either way I agreed with him that it was smelly and tried to shift the blame to someone else in the class (I don't think he bought it). Because I was so busy I scheduled my classes one after another and had classes all day until 2:50pm. After my first class I went to the bathroom and tried to clean the dog crap off of my self the best I could. I was looking for a job at that time and had a interview at 3:30

On the way home I was standing by this man and his dog waiting to cross the busy street. His dog started sniffing my shoe and leg, but I wasn't really paying attention because there was a squirrel running around on the ground (for those of you who don't know I'm terrified of squirrels, and I'm sure you'll find out more to those reasons when you read more of these stories). The squirrel ran up the tree with something in his hand when the squirrel reached the first branch he dropped the thing he had in his hand right on my head. I looked down to see what the squirrel had dropped. When I saw the dog that was smelling me lifted up his leg and start peeing on my shoe. The man was so embarrassed and started apologizing. I told the man not to worry because things like that happened to me all the time. I think the dog peed on me because he smelt the dog crap I had slipped in....either way I had dog pee and poop on me at this point.

After I got home I was in a hurry for my interview and didn't have time to take a shower. So, I took my shoes and pants off, and put new one's on (or so I thought). The job I was interviewing for was a county job, and because it was a county job I had to interview with the county commissioners. REMEMBER I'M SICK on this day. I got done with my interview and I started shaking everyone's hand I got to the last person when I felt a sneeze coming on. I couldn't hold it in and sneezed snot all over one of the county commissioners. I apologized and left the interview embarrassed. I got home and four of my roommates were sitting on the couch. One of them looked down and said "Uhh....Crystal...Why do you have two different shoes on?" At that pointed I wanted to cry, but started laughing. My roommates looked at me as if I were crazy, and I said "Your not going to believe the day I had". (Just so you know I did get the job).

Have you had a bad day? Feel free to share it with me!!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Spiritual Strength

I have had several things happen to me in the past couple months which have left me so hurt I just don't know how to pick up the pieces. I have felt like I'm on an emotional roller coaster that just not stopping. I have never before felt such strong feeligns of hurt, anger, and pain. I'm lucky to have so many supportive people in my life who are trying to help me in the best way they can. Yet, as supportive as they have been no words have been able to stop these feelings I feel inside. I want those people who have been supportive in my life to know that I do feel their love and support. But despite their efforts to make these things better my pain and agony continue.....and leave me more lost than ever.

I have realized that emotional and psycological hurt can linger in the form of bad memories, thoughts, and experiences and if left inside it can create barriers of personal growth and can lead us to doubt our abilities, trust our emotions, and believe in the goodness of the world and people around us. I'm the type of person who wants to see the good in people, and wants to learn from the experiences in my life but I feel this heaviness of hurt and bitterness in my heart and mind. I have felt lately that because I feel these feelings so intensely I have created barriers within myself that have prevented me to move forward. I want to move forward and get past this hurtful situation, but I feel stuck.

I have also realized that we cannot always control the things that happen around us. It's impossible for us to correct the wrong doings or attiudes of others. I try to have a good attiude and have an eternal perspective on the things that happen in my life. Yet, these feelings of hurt, pain, and anger are affecting my ability to cope and understand god's purpose for me. These attitudes and ways of thinking, so deeply embedded in my heart, subconciously hold me back from believing God's promises of peace, comfort and spiritual liberation. I've had so many people tell me how I shoudl turn everything to god, and allow the healing power of the atonement in my life. I just don't know how to let that happen. I feel his love for me every day, but I also feel the advesary present in my life kicking me while I'm down. I'm usally a fighter but I don't have the strength to fight anymore.

I have realized that through no fault of anyone else because of my attiude and feelings I have missed out on many spiritual blessings that god is more than willing and ready to give me. The broken heart is restored through release from the bondage to hurtful memories, a process which includes forgiveness and emotional reconstruction. Yet I'm not ready to forgive the people who have hurt me in my life.....I'm open to forgiveness........just not over the hurt. In the midst of this situation I feel myself slipping further and further away from the spirutal strength I have within me. The spirtual power that I beleive in. It's like my faith in god and good things are broken and I don't have the strength to change it right now. I don't understand why I'm not turning to my Heavenly Father and savior who would be more than willing to carry me through this if I'd just ask. My dear friends and family please pray for me. I know things will get better, and I will be stronger because of it. I love you all!!!

Crystal