Letter 9: A letter to someone who is deceased

Dear Grandma,
I remember sitting by you the first time we had to put you into the hospital. You looked at me with your big blue eyes and said “Crystal, I don’t understand why all these people are here. No one is going to care when I die. Is that what they are waiting for me to do is die.” Your eyes filled with tears and you turned away from me and wept. I remember placing your head in my hands and I told you “I care grandma…..I don’t want you to die…………..I can’t IMAGINE my life without you.” At that point you stopped crying looked in my eyes and said “I’m afraid everyone will forget me.” It has been 4 years since you past away, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t reach for my phone to call you only to realize that you can’t be reached. I still don’t have the heart to delete your number from my phone. There is not a birthday that goes by that I don’t wait for your birthday card for me to arrive in the mail. As the days and years have passed away my life without you has not been the same. There is a framed picture that resides by my bed stand of just us two. It’s a picture that someone took of us and we didn’t realize it. You are whispering something in my ear….just like you always did when there was a crowd around. What’s funny is I remember what you whispered to me that day. I giggle every time I see that picture. What’s weird though is that picture gives me the strength to go on without you. It’s as though you’re whispering to me NOW…saying “Crystal, I’m proud of you….or Crystal I know you can do it.” You were the best grandma in the world, and I was so lucky that I had you in my life. I know that you would kill me if you knew this, but I talk about you to everyone. I am just so grateful to have known such a wonderful person. I don’t ever want to forget you, and I want other people to know of your goodness, love, and compassion. You have always been a hero in my eyes. Your strength and wisdom have touched so many people. The best thing of all though is that your legacy lives on. I see so much of you in your children, in your children’s children, and in me. I know that you are with Grandpa Andy now, and I look forward to the day when I am reunited with you. I know that you are with me now, because I feel your presence with me on a daily basis. Your life lives on through the countless memories I have of you. I miss and Love you so much!!! Just so you know …..I still care…. I still miss you….. And I will never forget you.
With all my heart,
Crystal