No regrets!

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make."  

Every one of us has experienced feelings of regret.  The things we didn't do when we had the chance, the priceless relationship we neglected, and those important words we left unspoken.  I was talking to a friend about recent decisions I have made in my life, and telling them how much I regret making stupid decisions.  They looked at me and said "Crystal, if you don't have any regrets in life you’re really not living."  This got me thinking about what it is I'm really regretful of?  Is it making a mistake or having to deal with the consequences of making a mistake?  What I realized is that it's never too late to set things straight.  We're still here breathing, and can choose to make things right.  I do agree with my friend that if we don't have regrets in our life we aren't really living, but these are just some of my thoughts on different ways to live without regret. 

1.  Spend time with the people we love.

You've heard the saying, "The best things in life are free."  Spending quality time with family, friends, and others are heart-felt moments that bring more joy in our lives.  They are precious and free.  Too often we get caught up in the rat race, working numerous hours a week, to the point where we are too stressed and exhausted to enjoy our closest relationships.  By simplifying our life style and making conscious choices along the way it is possible to enjoy more of what matters most.  Life is too short so enjoy it while it last with those you love. 

 

2.  Don't hold a grudge.

We have all been hurt by another person at some point whether we were treated poorly, trust was broken, and hearts were hurt.  And while this pain is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  This creates problems.  It not only causes us to be unhappy, but it can strain or ruin future relationships, distract us from work and family, and make us reluctant to open up to new things and people.  We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.  If there is someone in your life who deserves another chance, give it to them.  If you need to apologize, do it.  We can always give our life story a happy new beginning.  Forgiveness is the biggest gift we can give ourselves and others.

 

3.  Be who you are

As long as you keep being you, as long as you keep staying true to yourself and the passions that move you, it doesn't matter how many mistakes you make or how many times we pull a U-turn.  Have courage to live a life true to you, not the life others expect of you.  Make time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are or what anyone else says.  Steve Jobs once said: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

4.  Be honest about how you feel.

Say what you need to say, and never apologize for showing your feelings.  This is something I tell my patients all the time.  People may feel uncomfortable with what you have to say, but that is something they will have to deal with.  Too many times people suppress their feelings in order to keep peace with others.  As a result, they settle for carrying the weight of their own silence.  Give yourself permission to feel a full range of emotions.  When you are in touch with what you are feeling, you are more likely to understand the situation at hand and resolve it instead of avoiding it.  In order to feel connectedness you need to accept and love yourself first, even when your truth feels heavy.  In the end, expressing your feelings will improve your relationships, including your relationship with yourself, to a new healthier level.  Your open honestly will also help you realize and realize unhealthy relationships from your life. 

5.  Release negativity from your life.

Don't expect to achieve long-term happiness if you surround yourself with negative people.  Don't give up part-time people a full-time position in your life.  Know your value and what you have to offer stay positive, and never settle for ANYTHING less than you deserve.  I love this quote "There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people that create it."  Staying out of other's drama is an incredibly effective way to simplify your life and reduce stress.  Surround yourself with positive people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad, so you can focus on the good.  Life is really too short not to be happy. 

6.  Make happiness a priority in your life.

Happiness is a choice and many people walk around unhappy.  There are many reasons for this, but it boils down to one principle.  People choose something else over happiness.  I can't tell you how many times I have been told by others 'it's easier to stay in something that's comfortable even if it's destructive to my happiness."  To find true happiness in life you need to follow your heart and intuition.  You may need to do things you are uncomfortable doing.  Life isn't about pleasing everybody.  We can take responsibility for our own happiness. 

7.  Make a difference in other's lives.

Every person can make a difference, and every person should try.  In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else's life you also make a positive impact on your own.  Do something that is greater than you.  Something that helps someone else to be happy or suffer less.  I can't tell you how many times my life has been magnified and my joy increased when I have been able to help others. 

8.  Take risks

If your fear of failure, or of not being perfect, has driven you to take the safe road of doing nothing, you have already failed.  Accept the fact that everyone fails, but don't accept the act of not trying as your form of failure.  I love the quote "Don't let the risk of striking out prevent you from playing the game."  We will have failures along the road of reaching our goals, but they are simply opportunities to learn and grow.  If we keep moving forward eventually we will reach our dreams. 

9.  Goodbye and Hello's

In life, goodbyes are a gift.  When certain people walk away from you, and certain opportunities close their doors on you, there is no need to hold onto them or pray to keep them present in your life.  If they close you out, take it as direct indication that these people, circumstances and opportunities are not part of the plan for the next step of your life.  It is a hint that your personal growth requires someone different and something more, and life is simply making room.  So embrace your goodbyes, because every "goodbye" you receive sets you up for even a better "hello".   

"Forget the past. forget your age.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  At the end of it, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets."

 

Crystal Angel