"Diease to Please"

"Crystal, Your so perfect!" UGG! I can't tell you how many times I have heard these words come out of people's mouths. Sometimes I sit in awe wondering where one would pick up such messages from me? Me perfect? The thought makes me laugh, and even though I know that being "perfect" is an unrealistic expectation I feel the need to try to reach it. The pressure to be perfect...I really don't know where it started, but everyday I'm trying to let go of the need to be perfect. So, today I will blog my thoughts and feelings about the "disease to please".

Many people in this world are in constant pursuit of perfection, and at times, that pursuit can evolve into a pressure that can feel overwhelming. For the person who feels that pressure, it can appear as a gnawing and constant pressure to measure up to a particular standard imposed on you by yourself, others, or what he or she perceives other to be pressuring them to be or become, and hopefully avoid a sense of failure rise to some level of accepted or ideal accomplishment. Interestingly enough, so many people live their lives day by day managing this pressure, and among these people many are drowning within the pressure to various points of psychological breakdown/distress.

I am no stranger to pressures to be perfect. As a woman, I completely understand the pressures to look beautiful. When I was a student, I always put pressure on myself to do well academically, and acknowledge good grades with a sense of accomplishment and a "pat on the back" for a job well done. As a daughter, I have put pressure on myself to be a perfect daughter who rarely make mistakes, and live life perfectly. When I was younger, my parents would always tell my brother and sister "why can't you be more like Crystal." As a result, I put pressure on myself to be the perfect combination of both brains and beauty, eventually coming to the conclusion in my mid-twenties that the pressure to be perfect was literally gnawing at my ability to reasonably enjoy my life to the fullest. On many days, I had an agenda to make strides towards some goal/combination of goals, and if I did not accomplish them, I would feel as if that day was a "less than perfect" day, and I went to bed feeling incomplete. Managing this pressure for perfection increasingly became a burden, and I began to realize that although this pressure may have helped me accomplish a lot within 25 years, there was a better way to live life and accomplish everything without attempting to measure up to a self- imposed standard of perfection.

Over the past 5 years I have tried to overcome my need to please, but at times I find myself slipping back into trying to be perfect in order to please those around me. Lately, I have found myself doubting myself and feeling so inadequate, because of not meeting others unrealistic expectations. I'm still waiting for the cure-all solution to relieve myself from the pressure of perfection, but I'm realizing that to unlearn this kind of pressure can be a longer process than I thought. Who knew I couldn't perfect, imperfection! Time to let go and start making myself happy!