30 and single

   
      I can't say that I ever thought that I would still be single at the age 30, but I am, and I don't regret it, not that I wouldn't like to be married (I very much would).  The opportunity for marriage or a family has not come for me yet. I have always been the kind of person that has been satisfied with my life no matter what stage I am in. Being 30 and single has given me opportunities and experiences that I cherish, and wouldn't trade. Still, I feel out of place especially when people comment about me being single (your so lucky your not married, I don't understand why your still single, Don't worry it will happen for you someday, etc), or as I see my friends and family raising their children and are supported by their husband or wife. My heart yearns for that. 

      People try to convince me that they know what it's like to be single.  Being single in your late 20's or early 30's is entirely different than being single in your 20's.  So, if you haven't experienced single at 30 for yourself, just know that it's not the same, and it's not likely to be helpful to share your own dating or waiting experiences from when you were single. Don't get me wrong you can be very encouraging and do it regularly, but be sensitive because it's different.

      Being single at 30 is in some ways better, and other ways it's harder. It's better because I have had the opportunity to grow and mature, and develop a broader sense of worth and self-esteem. I am more capable of processing things and dealing with issues than I use to be, and for that I am very thankful. When I was younger I depended more on others to fulfill me, and I wasn’t as grounded, so when something didn’t go well, it shook me up more so than it does now. I’m so glad that God uses experiences to grow and teach us, otherwise we’d never make it. The emotional roller coaster that a relationship or even desire for a relationship can be, has become much more tame. You realize the value of communication and patience. You also develop an independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional wellness that is very empowering.

     It's harder for a few reasons, the pool of available or datable guys is shrinking, but so is the pool of close friends who remain single. Most of my friends have moved on even from the newly married stage to the baby-making stage. They are still some of the most amazing friends a girl could want, but the relationship we have is different. There is also something to be said for knowing others that are in the same life stage as you. I am however greatly blessed by a small handful of people that god has brought into my life. They know, understand, and can relate in a way that others can't. Another reason why it's harder is because all of the sudden out of nowhere you have the biological clock factor. This little voice that reminds you that the older you get the more risky pregnancy will be, and you start realizing that you really want to be married for a couple of years before having kids, and that you had better get on the ball at finding someone, so you can have a family before it's just too late.   The other thing that is harder is doing things on your own.  Going through difficult trials, hardships, or successes independently.  These are just few examples on how being single at 30 is different. 

      As I mentioned above I have some friends who are in their later 20's or early 30's who are single.  We have had the opportunity to talk with each other and support each other throughout the years. Today I ran into one of those friends, and we started talking about this very thing. I thought why not blog over thoughts about being single?  Over the next few weeks. I'm going to be scheduling a few post on singleness, mostly things that I enjoy about being single, but some other thoughts on topics related to single life. Feel free to comment on what you might relate to or agree with, and what you might what to discuss in a future post. 

Crystal Angel