Dating at 30!

Dating at any age can be a challenge. Meeting men or women in your twenties is an entirely different ball games than when you are in your 30's. Your actions and priorities are often different, hence making your perspective like day and night. Dating in 30's can often be difficult because people around us often question why we are still single.

Often when your single at 30 you start to think about dating to marry. This is the most common mistake that can be made. Instead of getting to know a person, building a friendship and maybe a relationship people want to cut straight to the chase and find out if the other person wants to get married and have kids. Don't look at dating as an interview for a spouse; treat it like an opportunity to meet a great new friend.

Another common mistake made about dating at 30 is being too narrow minded. People over 30 are less likely to date outside their type. Don't get me wrong I like someone who has the same goals as me, but sometimes I get too focused on this area. As we get older, so do our habits, and our likes and dislikes. We get comfortable in our single life. This makes it difficult to adjust to something new or to look at things differently. Trust me I'm just as stubborn. Realize that this might be another reason why some of us are still single. If you have a list of the perfect partner this might actually keep you from finding someone who might be compatible with you. Sticking to our "List" can keep us lonely and prevent us from moving forward in finding a healthy relationship that will bring meaning to our lives. If you don't keep an open mind when dating, it will always feel like a nightmare.

On the flip side, don't settle less then you deserve. I have people who tell me that one day I'm going to be sick of being single and just settle for the first person who comes along. I also had this guy who was trying to get me to date him. I knew that he wasn't the person I wanted to be with. He said "Crystal, your going to be just like my aunt. Have 50 cats and throw them all birthday parties." My response was "At least I'll be happy." Don't settle for less than you deserve because you feel that time is of the essence. Choosing to date and be with someone you really don't want to be with will cause disappointment and unhappiness.

Being single at 30 makes us independent. We are use to doing things for ourselves. We own our own homes, ride and travel on our own dime. So, the reality is we don't necessarily need a man or a woman, but we do want one. This sometimes causes conflict when we date a man. It's important to allow a man to be a man. Let him pay for the date, open the doors for us, and pamper us. While being strong and independent is great quality it can sometimes be our own worst enemy.

A couple of years ago I decided that I was sick of wasting time on relationships and dating. I decided that if I wasn't feeling something after the first couple of dates that I would just "throw in the towel" and move on to the next person. Dating at 30 can sometimes be a nightmare and our patience become more than a virtue as we get older. Resulting in us quickly ending a relationship when something doesn't go as we expect. Remember that the best of relationships happen by building a friendship first. Just because things aren't moving as quickly as you would like being quick to give up because you can't be bothered is a mistake that can be made too often.

I'm too busy to date is a comment I have made at some point in my life. At 30, our lives are busy. We have careers and busy social lives so finding time to date may be the last on our to-do list. If you don't put yourself out their to date or open yourself up to dating can leave your changes of finding the right person dramatically low. Since dating is needed to find the right person it must be treated as a priority.

Dating at 30 doesn't have to be a chore. It should be fun with the opportunity to meet new people and develop lasting friendships.  Make yourself available and date away!!!