I blame Hollywood!

When a woman first dreams of prince charming, she's somewhere around seven. For as long as I can remember I was taught by every woman around me that the role of a "Woman" was to grow up, get married, and have children. My Grandma had 10 daughters, and all were married before the age of 26. So, I automatically thought I would be married before the age of 26 and it would just "MAGICALLY" happen like it happens in the movies. What can I say I'm a hopelessly romantic person! My prince charming would meet me, fall head over hills for me, and profess his undenying love for me. We would then ride off into a beautiful sunset, be married in the traditional way, we would have four children, and live happily ever after in our home with a white picket fence. I know I can be sarcastic, but when I say this I REALLY THOUGHT love happened this way. I BLAME HOLLYWOOD!!

I'm not one of those Women that has ever panicked about getting married. I have always been satisfied in my life and comfortable with who I am(thanks mom). I knew I wanted to get married someday, and for sure it would happen the "Hollywood" way. After graduation I decided to go to college, and obtain a degree. I dated a lot in college, but honestly my longest relationship was about 2-3 months prior to the age 21. At that time I met a guy and started dating him. What I had realized was "Dating" was not all that I expected it to be, and it was CERTAINLY not as "Hollywood" showed on the big screen(the older I get the more angry I get with Hollywood for lying to me). As the age of 26 started approaching more and more people around me started questioning why I wasn't married. The pressure was almost unbearable. It's not like I hadn't thought about marriage, but I was in an on again/off again relationship with some guy that was QUITE confusing. For one reason or another it just wasn't working. After 6.5 years of dating my on and off again relationship at the age of 27.

With my families overwhelming pressure for me to get married and my relationship ending with a guy that I thought might be my "Prince Charming". It was the first time I started questioning and panicking about getting married. I thought for sure I was "too old" to ever find prince charming. Yet, I knew that my dream of my "Hollywood" ending would not fail. I thought for sure the guy I previously dated would recognize that he was an idiot that he let me go and come after me (Lol... sorry that just made me laugh). When that didn't happen I started to get depressed. The more I thought about my age, the dating pool of guys I had to choose from, and putting myself out there to meet another prince charming it was almost too overwhelming. Instead of jumping into another relationship I went on a strike from dating, and "Guarded my Heart" (See previous post) in the wrong way.

I truly believe that god gives us experiences for a reason. We do not always see the things that he See's things. My desire and role to be a wife and a mother continue to burn bright. However, my role as a Woman is far greater. The great thing about my mom is she did not only teach me what it means to be a mother, but she first taught me what it means to be a woman. So, when you start to feel down or question your purpose I will give you some advice that my mom always gives me.

1. It is more important to know who you are than to let other people define who you should be.

2. You can always learn something.

3. Is it really going to matter 10 years from now?

4. If you want to make something happen. Get off your butt and do something about it.

5. Today will never happen again. Enjoy it.

Life isn't about waiting for your "Happily ever after" it's about creating it.

Love ya,

Crystal Angel